Another Gakuen Alice Fanfic, I know. But I love that anime so much! Especially the manga. Anyway, this is a sad fanfic. I'm not sure yet if I'm gonna post this at ff.net.

Ruka's POV

I know I should be happy for them. I know they are perfect for each other. I know they love each other very much. I want to accept it and move on. But I can't. Mikan was my very first love. Mikan, with her beautiful smile and her optimistic attitude. Mikan, who always wanted to help other people rather than herself. Mikan, who always made me happy.

But Mikan would be happier with Natsume.

And Natsume would be happier with Mikan.

That's why I can't interfere with their relationship. Mikan is Natsume's light. She'll help Natsume out of the darkness...

I'm so selfish, aren't I? Wanting things like this, knowing I don't deserve it. But could you blame me for wanting the one I love love me back? Am I wrong for wanting her to come to me because I love her so much?

I'd give up anything for her.

You know what I hate most? Mornings. For some people, it meant a whole new day to play and laugh. For some people, it was another day to enjoy the things they love most. For me? Well, let's just say that I never look forward to them, knowing that I'd get to see them together again.

And you know what's worse? My friends are pairing me up with Imai. Imai. Imai, the blackmailer. Imai, the person who makes my life a living hell. I don't know why the heck they're pressuring me to her. She's merciless, heartless and all of the above. Shouldn't she have at least one soft side? She'd just watch me watch the perfect couple, whilst making one of her inventions.

So why am I writing this again? Oh, right. To vent out my feelings. Ha-ha. As if that would make everything better. As if venting out my feelings would make Mikan fall in love with me. As if writing down my feelings on a poor piece of paper would make me move on. Honestly, there are just a few things a piece of paper can do. One, it can show you how miserable you sound, complaining about why the love of your life doesn't love you. And two, it can show you how pathetic you are, writing things down.

I've never been one to have a dia--journal. I have never owned one in my life. Never. Ever. Well...except that  time. But I was five! And all I did was doodle on it. So it really wasn't a diar--journal. Anyway, journals are just a trick. Anyone can make one. All you do is make a good cover then pages blah-blah, and you're done. An eight-year-old could do that.

Okay, I know I'm supposed to be talking about...Mikan. But it really hurts you know? Have you ever experienced having the one you love stolen by your bestfriend? I think not.

I'm just another one of those foolish, brokenhearted people. I'm a fool. Wanna know why?

Because I fell in love.

Done! Oh, and don't get me wrong about Ruka's thoughts about Hotaru. I love that couple, but I thought it was fine if I did a lil' change. I know it's just an unorganized group of words called feelings. But that's the idea. Who ever had organized feelings? Feelings are always unorganized, because you're confused. You never understand why you're feeling like this and like that--Okay, I should shut up now and post this.