I was so close to the prize. So close, that if only I reached out, I would be able to grasp it. She was almost in my hands, but I had to be such a coward to withdraw my hand... I kept telling myself that there was 'another chance.' If only I knew then what I knew now.
I saw it in her eyes. She likes me--Oh, wait. She liked me. I can't believe I passed up all those wonderful opportunities. Opportunity knocked at my door everyday, and I refused to open it.
Everyone knew I liked her. They supported me, of course. Natsume did, too, but I knew he was just forcing himself to; he loved her, after all. I'm not sure if passing up all those opportunities was good or not. If I hadn't done that, I would be happy; Natsume wouldn't. But right now, I'm the one's whose not happy.
I keep telling myself that I did the right thing; keep telling myself that Natsume deserves her love more. He has, after all, never felt this way toward someone. And he had undergone a lot too.
Natsume was my bestfriend. I helped him undergo every obstacle in his way, even when he tried to push me away. I had to help him; he had helped me a lot of times. So I sticked to him, and he eventually got used to it. I was the only one who stuck with him.
But that all changed when Mikan came. Mikan became the light in his darkness. She lifted up his spirit and made him have a reason to live. I knew that, yet I couldn't let go of my selfish desires. I liked her; I loved her, even. Both of us decided to be rivals, but still friends.
I guess it was obvious. it was obvious that he would get it all. He was the protagonist. I was only his best friend. I knew it, but why does it hurt so much?
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